Marriage Is: Comparing Love Handles

I am no expert on marriage. My husband and I are still four months short of our first anniversary. But whether I like it or not, everyday I am learning more about what it means to be a wife, what it means to be yoked to another human, what it means to fulfill another's need for love and beauty.
The following statements are what I have found to be true of marriage, thus far.

1. Marriage is: Comparing Love Handles

I met my husband when I was fourteen years old. He was a sophomore and I was a freshman and no one was more handsome or fit. I wasn't too out of shape, myself, weighing in at just about a buck with long brown hair and dewy, young skin. Fast forward nine years, and we're still both young, and marginally attractive, but things certainly don't look the way they used to. Picture two comfortable twenty something's standing in their underwear, brushing their teeth, plucking their nose hairs, applying zit cream, comparing love handles. Marriage is: humility.

2. Marriage is: Flatulence Warfare

Everyone has gas. Some use theirs as a weapon. Marriage is: laughter.

3. Marriage is: Having Someone to go to Costco With

Because let's face it, a single person has no business shopping in bulk. Maybe we are simple and boring, but it feels good to be consumers together. Giant bag of dog food, check. Giant palate of NY Strips, check. Giant package of toilet paper, check, check. It's not just Costco, either; the library, the bank, the gym, the gynecologist. I consider it a good sign for our marriage that I want to spend every waking second with my husband and he wants to spend most of his time with me. But it's not that bad. I don't actually make him come to the lady doctor with me and he let's me off the hook when he watches TopGear. Marriage is: a best friend, a partner, a family.

4. Marriage is: Someone to Tell You When You Have Eye Boogers

One of the best compliments I have ever received was given to me when I was away on a school trip with my classmates, sharing a hotel room overnight with the other flute players in the band. Kate said, "You look amazing when you wake up in the morning when most of us look like we just went on a month bender in Vegas." I consider that one of the most generous things anyone has ever said about me. Imagine my false sense of security when waking up next to my new husband years later, pillow face, crusty eyes, morning breath; really attractive. Further more, imagine my surprise when he leaned over, kissed my eyebrow and told me how beautiful I looked in the morning. Oh, and that I had an eye booger. Love is: blind.

And so it seems that marriage is turning out to be a little less glamorous and romantic than I had always imagined. There are more disagreements about money and less candlelit dinners than I thought there would be. We are finding that there is serious work involved. And we're still new at this. But in these last nine months, bound in holy and unpredictable matrimony, I have learned that marriage is: such a gift.